It is common for people who live with their partner to present problems of understanding or to resolve a conflict.
The real problem arises when this is something sustained over time. Are the temporary separations in the couple a risk?
Occasionally, situations arise where strong arguments are maintained with the couple. Guests arrive, everything calms down and then the discussion no longer seems to be that important.
People who have maintained a relationship know the healing effect of temporary separation.
It can act as a revitalizing element and helps to temporarily reduce the escalation of interpersonal tension. But not in all cases.
- All couples have many things in common, but differences cannot be ignored.
- These, are not usually the source of conflict, but it is their incorrect handling which causes temporary separations in the couple.
How long should temporary separations last?
Although there are many opinions about it, the ideal time of separation is between two and six months, to reduce tension.
Some risks in temporary separations
Many times the request for a temporary separation can be used as a subtle euphemism to end a relationship.
- The purpose of the couple is not to hurt each other. It suggests a time of reconsideration, meditation, and analysis of the situation.
- The problem is that really only seeks to reduce or cushion the final impact: break the relationship.
Lack of agreement in the decision
One of the risks that run in the temporary separations in the couple is that both do not agree. This implies that one of the people does not believe in separation as a method to correct what is happening.
What should be done? State clear objectives and intentions. The idea is not to waste anyone’s time.
Perceive separation as the solution
It is important to consider that separation is not always a good solution. It is part of it.
- Simply by being separated as a couple, the differences will not be resolved or the routines that led to the separation will be automatically changed.
- The most appropriate thing is to have the help of a therapist during the process, to avoid frustrations or inconclusive results.
Promises that can not be met
After deciding the separation the couple must establish what can and can not change, to satisfy the other.
At this point of negotiation, honesty and commitment will be indispensable. The ideal is to make promises that can be fulfilled over time.
Time and avoid despair
You should only access the requests you are comfortable with and not do it just to please the other person.
- If time was requested, you have to give time. This will serve both to heal themselves and to channel what they need in their relationship. It will also help to set goals in it, in the case of returning.
- Prepare mentally to let go. This temporary separation may be prolonged. Both must be ready by the time they decide whether to continue their lives or resume the relationship.
It is not a simple task, but the best thing is to take care to redo activities that were previously done in a company. Now it’s time to do it alone.
- Do not show despair If a couple decides to take some time, and they do not give themselves the space of “time”, they can be overwhelmed.
- If this happens, they are not giving rise to the loneliness that requires a temporary separation. This could result in a definitive break.
The separation may not be the solution
A temporary separation can bring many risks, it is a double-edged sword.
- In some relationships, this parenthesis is a type of healing harshness.
- However, there are some that mean the opposite, it turns out to be the waste of removing a weight from it.
The best the couple can do is think before making decisions. Among other things, because they may not return from this temporary parenthesis.
This separation is recommended when there are many feelings on the surface and especially sentimental confusion. It is important to know how to make the right decisions at the right time.
In this way, both parties are not affected and the separation can occur subtly.
The issue of temporary separations between couples is complex and professional help can be sought. As we can see, it is important to take into consideration many factors that directly intervene in this type of decision.