All the emotions you do not manage, it can’t control your emotions or if you look, end up controlling you. A word not said or a feeling not externalized will undoubtedly become a time bomb.
No one teaches us how to properly control your emotions. What they do teach us is to conceal some, to keep many and to express very few.
Those that we consider negative because they may imply certain rejection by our environment (crying, expressing our malaise, saying “no”) we do not externalize them.
These are, if possible, the most important emotions. Those that, if not managed in the right way, can turn against us. It is time for us to change this.
How to learn to distinguish your emotions
To avoid that all the emotions that do not manage end up going against you, it is important that you begin with a fundamental step: knowing how to distinguish them.
This may seem silly, however, many more times than we think we confuse what we feel underestimating the importance it has.
There are people who are angry and angry when in reality they feel sadness. It is a way of concealing an emotion that they do not want to face, that they do not want to accept and, therefore, do not want to distinguish.
This causes many problems since an unidentified sadness can lead us to suffer depressions and even intense episodes of anxiety that we will not know where they come from.
Distinguishing our emotions, knowing if we feel sadness, anger, jealousy, fury, etc., will allow us to go to the origin of that emotion, which has caused it to manage the situation as best as possible.
The moment we do not do this, everything is out of control, we are getting out of hand. Therefore, it is important to accept what we feel, to distinguish it and to solve it.
The emotions you do not manage, nor the labels
To label, emotions are to give them a name. This I feel is anger, that frustration, you have made me feel a little anxious …
When we have gone through the first step in which emotions are accepted and distinguished, it is important to give them a name. Why?
Because the moment we label an emotion we know what it is, what we are dealing with and how we can cope with it.
So, returning to the previous example, if we can distinguish that under the rage we externalize what we actually feel in sadness, we can begin to put into operation certain tools to counteract it.
However, if we do not look at this emotion or label it, perhaps we try to solve a feeling of anger that is not the right one and whose tools will not serve us anything. Well, what underlies is something else.
All those emotions that you do not manage because you do not want or are afraid to face what you feel, end up not being labeled and, therefore, ignored.
The problem is that somehow or other they look for their way to express themselves and get your attention.
Increase our emotional intelligence
The emotional intelligence is a concept that refers to the ability to recognize, identify and label all those emotions we feel.
However, this also allows us to expand our awareness so that we realize how they impact our minds and our lives. How they lead it.
However, this is something that is not usually propitiated, so our emotional intelligence atrophies causing us to have a series of conflicts that could be easily solved.
An example of this can be that person who explodes from time to time because he does not know how to manage his emotions in the right way.
Instead of enhancing their emotional intelligence and begin to learn to express their emotions correctly, what it does is to continue in the same dynamic of holding them.
However, the emotions, sooner or later, come out. They can manifest in the form of anxiety, depression, outbursts of anger or those explosions in which the person explodes exaggerated at a totally inappropriate time. This denotes a total lack of emotional intelligence.
Remember that the emotions you do not manage end up controlling your life and causing you, sometimes, to suffer unnecessarily.
Increase your emotional intelligence, be more aware of what you feel and start naming all those emotions that come to you. You will see how this awareness will bear fruit.